role model

I'm sure it's been pretty obvious that I've been feeling down lately.  It's still rough, and it probably will be for a bit longer, but today I thought about someone I've always admired and felt better.  She's clever and sweet, and while she's not cynical, she doesn't take nonsense from anyone.

I think it's clear who I'm talking about.

Belle, of course.

And she wears a pinafore with such panache.  Could I pick a better role model?  I don't think so.

treehouse

One of my summer projects:  figuring out how to make my dorm room look like this next year.  So, so pretty.

fill-in-the-blank friday

via the little things we do

1.   I am looking forward to: going home for the summer.  I love Manhattan, but sometimes it's more lonely being surrounded by people with whom you never interact than it is to be in the middle of nowhere.

2.  Something kind of embarassing that I still love anyway is: Fraggle Rock.  It was such a funny, clever show, and then when I discovered the whole series was available on Netflix... well.  Let's just say that I mentally reference Fraggle Rock perhaps a little more than the average 20-year-old.

3.  My favorite car is: ....um.. I know nothing about cars.  I think of them as either 'square' or 'rounded' depending on whether it's kind of boxy-looking or not.  That's about the extent about my knowledge or preference.

4.  If I could pick one type of weather to live with for the rest of my life it would be: about 70 degrees, sunny, and breezy.

5.  My favorite thing to do after a bad/stressful day is: either do yoga or sleep.  Or, best of all, do yoga and then go to sleep while I'm all zen-ish.  Long walks are good, too.

6.  This weekend: I'm on RA duty on Saturday, so I'll be doing schoolwork in my room, and on Sunday I'll probably still be in my room doing schoolwork.  It's just that time of the semester, I guess.

7.  If I were a color, I'd be: blue because I can be energetic and happy, tranquil and calm, or moody and stormy.  Actually, that might just be for right now because it's been a rough week.  When I'm at my happiest, I think I'm more of a soft, rosy pink.

thank goodness it's friday!

baptism

dirt

mornings are so hard

no use to sit and wonder why, babe

You just kinda wasted my precious time.

But don't think twice, it's alright.

I feel like I'm waking up from a very long, very deep sleep.  It's strange.

detour

I promise this blog will be sunny again soon, because sad blogs are just depressing and because I’m not vain enough to think that my life is actually especially interesting to anyone besides me.  But I am in desperate need of catharsis.

I wish I could be angry.  I’m good when I’m angry.  When I’m angry I listen to loud music and I walk fast and I feel invincible because I go numb and stop thinking of anything except the next thing I need to do.  When I’m angry I can handle anything and be completely invulnerable.

But I’m not angry.  I’m just filled with an empty, devastated ache.

oh...

I don't want to feel like this ever again.

day's end

One of my favorite feelings in the whole world is that feeling after you stay up late to finish a to-do list, and then you finish it and go to sleep with the thought that you got lots and lots of stuff done that day.

delicious ambiguity

I'm still working on this... but I think I am maybe-kind of-possibly getting better at it.

♥

this is just to say (again)

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

--William Carlos Williams

Because sometimes you know and know and know that you shouldn't, but you just can't help yourself.

♥

spring break

Tonight is the last night of my spring break-- okay, well, technically tomorrow night is the last night, but since I'll be doing schoolwork at school, it doesn't really count.  I've only been home for three days, and yet I feel like I've learned quite a bit more than I have in the last few weeks at school.  I was lucky enough to grow up with parents who worked at home, and I say that in all sincerity-- I never had to worry that my parents wouldn't be able to come pick me up from school when I was sick, or that there wouldn't be a snack when I got home.  When I come home, I still kind of feel like that-- like I can toss my backpack (read: suitcase) on the couch and sit at the kitchen table and tell my mom about my day and then go see what cool thing my dad has sculpted or planted.

     I mentioned a few posts ago that March and April are difficult months for me.  Some of that has to do with a lack of sunshine, most of that has to do with my being an extreme perfectionist regarding schoolwork.  I was hoping that getting out of my dorm room and out of New York would help me put things back into perspective, and sure enough, I think that happened.  So (and frankly this is as much for my own benefit as anyone else's, because as the semester goes on, I'm anticipating coming back to reread this with startling frequency), here's what I've been considering while enjoying a bit of regression at home.

•  Not every project can be my baby.

Sometimes you have to do something just to get it done.  I like for my projects to be the best they can possibly be, and to be a really good representation of my design and drawing abilities.  And when I'm doing a non-design-related project, like a paper, I like to do that as well as I possibly can, too.  I like to consider my thesis, take lots of notes, get all of the wording just right... but I'm learning now that that isn't always possible.  I'm not advocating doing a slap-dash job with projects, but I'm finally figuring out that it is not worth spending half an hour agonizing about whether to add top-stitching to a drawing of a pocket.

• The best way to stop stressing about how much work I have to do is to actually do it.

This one's pretty self-explanatory.  When I have a ton of schoolwork due, it's not uncommon for me to get completely paralyzed with stress and become completely unable to work on anything because I don't think there's any way I can ever get everything done.  These are the times when I end up curled up in a blanket in my round blue chair hugging a pillow and blankly staring at my desk.  Which is not productive at all, and then I only become more stressed out because suddenly I've wasted an hour and a half hugging a pillow and staring at my desk.  I was in a really awful, sad mood right before I came home, because all I could think about was how much I needed to get done during spring break and how little I felt motivated to get out of bed when my alarm went off.  It just seemed sort of pointless-- if I couldn't get everything done, how could I get anything done?  But when I came home, I spent some time doing sketches for my two swimwear classes, and I finished them to where they should be for class this Friday, and I felt a bit better.  Then I did a licensing assignment, and wrote a paper, and started sketching for my outerwear class, and then I felt a lot better.  While the next month or so is still going to be incredibly rough (as it always is), I've made significant progress on every assignment that's due for the rest of the semester.  Yay!

• Put the glass down.

This is an expression that my mom has used for as long as I can remember.  It has nothing to do with drinking (I prefer to drown my stresses in yarn and floral prints...I mean that in the least sanctimonious way possible), it has to do with realizing that you've done as much as you can do.  Sometimes you just have to stop and back away.  This applies to schoolwork, this applies to people.  Sometimes things have just gone as far as they can go and no good will be accomplished by continuing.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter, if you celebrate it, and if not, I hope you have a spectacular Sunday!

♥

oooh...

I'm turning 21 this June.  And I have to ask... am I too old to have this cake at my party?  I don't think so.

cake from hello naomi

nebula

I think a lot of what I do is really just an attempt to reach into the universe with the hope someone reaches back.

♥

fill-in-the-blank friday!

via the little things we do

1.   Fridays are : going to be the first day of my weekend next semester!  Hurrah!  This is only the second semester that I've had classes on Fridays, and it is something I am very much looking forward to being done with.

2.  A clean room, kittens, yarn, and long walks in the West Village make me terribly happy. 

3.  Something that inspires me is: reading The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster.  It's my go-to book if I'm feeling stuck because it's so imaginative and clever and the illustrations are wonderful.

4.  If I had the day off today I would: oh, but I do have the day off!  How exciting!  So I'm going to a few of my favorite shops in the town where I live (because I'm fiiiiinally home for spring break, yay!) and then I'm coming home and napping and working on schoolwork.  For some reason, I've been able to get more done since coming home yesterday afternoon than I did in two days at school.  I think maybe being surrounded by all my work at all times becomes so overwhelming that I can't imagine ever finishing it all, but the amount of work that I've brought home seems much more manageable.

5.  If I had to put a label on my home decor style, I would say my style is: 'cozy nature-child minimalist.'  I like for my space to feel welcoming and warm, with lots of natural materials and decoration, but I also like to have some empty surfaces, and generally a big empty space in the middle of the room with a rug to sprawl out on for reading or drawing.  I like colors that are soft and light and airy.

6.  Concerning politics I would say I'm: quite liberal.

7.  I'd like to go to: Paris so I could feel chic and Parisian and go to the flea markets, which sound absolutely fantastic.

Yay, happy Friday!

♥

bonnie says it best

Yet another video which won't embed in wordpress, but which you should definitely listen to anyway.

pin-ups.... in spaaaaaaaaaace!

I was meandering the internet in search of pin-up girls, because I'm working on a pin-up inspired project for school, and I found these Jetson-esque pin-ups by Bill Randall.

Going where no scantily-dressed space explorer has gone before.  Heehee, I think they are fantastic.

hrmmmmmph....

Once again, felines are the best way to express my emotions.

Because it's spring break.

And I'm still at school because I had so much homework.

And now I'm sick.

I am declaring today officially over, ordering in, and curling up to watch reruns of The Office.

Hmph.

mud-luscious

In Just-
spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman

whistles far and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring

when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer
old balloonman whistles
far and wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing

from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it's
spring
and
the

goat-footed

balloonMan whistles
far
and
wee

--e.e. cummings

♥

bittersweet

of course...

...some things are still very, very, very lovely.

♥♥♥

wise up

March and April are always hard months for me.  It isn't as bad this year as it was last year, but it still isn't good.  I know what some of the problems are... I just don't know how to fix them.

fill-in-the-blank friday

via the little things we do

1.   My favorite daily responsibility is: making my bed.  It makes me feel ready for the day.

2.  My least favorite daily responsibility is: adding water to the vases of flowers in my room.  Isn't that awful?  But it's true, I always manage to spill water all over the place, or bump petals off the flowers... not so nice.

3.  My favorite cuisine to eat when going out is: I don't know if this counts as an actual 'cuisine,' but I love going out to brunch.  Brunch is definitely my favorite meal.

4.  My favorite cuisine to prepare at home is:  ...ummm... well, I can make exactly one non-dessert food, pasta with sauteed mushrooms.  Oh, and sandwiches and things like that, but the options are pretty limited.

5.  Andy Warhol said that everyone is famous for 15 minutes. My claim to fame is: probably that nearly everything I own is either pink or floral (or both).

6.  If I could have 3 wishes I would wish: to be less stressed out all the time (and thus, I suppose, a job that let me have a life, too), to be less of a perfectionist, and for a never-ending supply of floral dresses and wooly socks.

7.  My biggest pet peeve is: hmmmm... if we're talking about small annoying traits, probably when people talk and talk without actually saying anything.  Also, when people stand very close to me to talk.  If we're talking about bigger things, inconsistency is a big one for me.

Thank goodness it's finally spring break!

♥

heehee...

I just ran across this website, 'That Can Be My Next Tweet.' It takes the words from your tweets (if you're on twitter, obviously) and re-arranges them to make suggestions for what you could tweet next.  The results are sort of like mistranslated advertisements or something.  Here are a few of my favorites of the suggestions it had for me.

 

Has anyone else noticed that the number of amusing internet things that they find is directly proportional to the number of school projects they should be working on?

oh so pretty

One of my classes went to a trend forecasting and print show today, and there was a lot of vintage clothing that can be bought as inspiration pieces.  Seeing all of the vintage frothiness rekindled my love for Lanvin dresses from the 1920s.

Pierre Brissaud illustration of Lanvin mother-daughter dresses

most photos from the Metropolitan Museum of Art website